Midnight Streaker - Naked in the Night
Submitted by Joe Istre
Stories from the Trailer Park
A true story
In the year of our Lord 1990
It was 11:55 at night. Mr.and Mrs. Ouest (French for “West”) had been sleeping for two hours. Joe, his son, had been in bed for about a half hour. The lights were out, everything was dark; everything was quiet.
Sweet dreams were upon them; the beauty of rest and dreams was captivating. The dreams carried them away to distant lands or, not so distant lands.
Time: 12:00 midnight.
Bang! Bang! Bang! “Ahh!..help me!...help me!, “ The noise came from outside.
Mr. Ouest looked at his alarm clock. Twelve midnight? Who in the heck would be banging on the door at this time?
Mr. Ouest had been in the trailer park business for 17 years in New Iberia, Louisiana. He had been accustomed to very interesting characters as tenants; however, tonight he was in for a very big and strange surprise.
His trailer park was just 200 feet from his brick home. Many times a tenant would solicit his help or come to his home to use the telephone during the day or, during a reasonable hour after dark. However, at midnight a tenant might be met a the door with Mr. Ouest’s 12-gauge shotgun.
Joe, his son, had also heard the banging. Who would come here at this time screaming? Was it a robber? Did someone get shot?
Mr. Ouest had gotten on his coveralls before Joe got out of bed, so he went slowly down the hall to the door. He hoped it was not someone with a gun or something. Someone was still hollering from the porch, “Help! Help!.” Dang, what kinda junk this time?
Mr. Ouest slowly peeked out of the door window, hoping it was not too bad. Then he put the curtain back after what he’d seen. Am I in a dream? he thought. He looked again and there she was, screaming, “Help me! Help me!” But, one thing was wrong; however, he still thought he was in a dream.
He thought his eyes were failing him. Was this insane woman really butt naked? he thought. He looked again, and sure enough, there was a woman standing on the steps naked from the waist down screaming like an stupid imbecile. The only thing she had on was a blouse.
The minute she saw Mr. Ouest looking out the window, she stooped down to hide the bottom half of her naked body.
Mr. Ouest immediately yelled as Mrs. Ouest was coming down the hall, “Get a sheet! Get a sheet!”
“What?” Mrs. Ouest yelled.
“Get a sheet!.. there’s a naked woman on the porch!”
“What?! You’re lying!” Mrs. Ouest said.
“No! There’s a naked woman on the porch! I’m tellin’ you!..she’s naked!” he replied.
Joe had gotten out of bed and heard the noise and thought he was in a dream also by what he had heard. A naked woman? How could this be? Joe thought.
Mrs. Ouest, in her numb mind went and got a sheet with which to cover the naked female figure on the front porch.
As Mrs. Ouest tried to cover the young woman, she kept screaming, “Help! He’s got a gun!” Mrs. Ouest had to talk to her like a kid and said, “Be quiet now! We can’t do anything until you calm down and tell us what happened!”
The woman struggled like a wild cat. She screamed, twisted and turned as Mrs. Ouest tried to put the sheet around her; She seemed to be faking: the Ouests doubted what she said.
Finally she was constrained and Mrs. Ouest was able to cover her naked parts.
The Ouests took her inside and sat her on the sofa; they questioned her as to what happened.
All the insane woman could say was, “My husband had a gun and wanted to shoot me!”
The Ouests called the Iberia Parish Sheriff’s Office; an officer came in about ten minutes.
The story was told to the officer. He could hardly keep from laughing. Ha! I bet that shack-up of her’s got a little too excited! He thought. He just shook his head as if to know that the world never has a shortage of freaks. All he could get out of her was that her “husband” or, more properly, her shack-up tried to pull a gun on her.
The sheriff deputy decided to go to the woman’s home to see what was going on.
As he left, another officer arrived to assist him because he wanted to get in on this wild report also. The assistant motioned to roll down the window.
“Hey Jack”, the assistant said, “Did you shine that spotlight on her naked body!?”
“No, man...I which I could have, though! I bet she’d messed all over that ground if I had!”
“Ha! Yeah, then you’d end up havin’ to wipe it up too!”
Mr. Ouest and Joe followed in their Toyota truck.
As they approached the trailer, everything was dark: there were no lights on inside or outside of the trailer.
One deputy approached the trailer slowly and knocked on the door. Bang bang bang - nothing in the trailer seemed to move. He tried several times and still, no answer.
After a time, Mr. Ouest said, “Hey sheriff...If you need to get in the trailer, I can get you the key.”
“Okay,” said the officer, “I guess it will save me from tearing down the door.”
In five minutes, Joe returned with the key.
Mr. Ouest unlocked the trailer for the deputy, but didn’t open the door.
The deputy checked for his pistol and got out his flashlight.
He slowly opened the door.
He peeked in; nothing: no lights no sounds - all was quiet.
The deputy shouted, “Hey, Sheriff’s department, come out of there!...Now!”
Nothing. No sounds.
The deputy shined his light into the trailer and entered.
He saw something rolled up into a ball on the floor. He shined the light on it. It didn’t move. He moved closer to it and saw that it was a ball of sheets with, what looked like, a body underneath it.
He came closer with his flashlight and shined toward the head of the body and saw a head! Who in the heck is this? Is he sleeping or is he dead? He thought.
After a few seconds the body’s eyes opened. Ugh ohh ...what have I gotten myself into now? The deputy thought.
The man that lay there finally woke up...or pretended to wake up.
“Hey, get up and show me where the gun is!” the deputy yelled.
“What the heck is this?” the “gunman” said, “What are you talking about?”
“Your wife,” the deputy said, “said you pulled a gun on her, now give me the gun now or I’ll take you up to the jail now!”
“Man,” said the “gunman, “ “ I don’t know what you are talking about!”
“Okay, you pulled a gun on your wife..now give us the gun or you’re goin’ to the slammer!”
Well, after a while the man found his gun in a camper that he had parked in his driveway and bitterly handed it over to the deputy. The two cops then left, obviously laughing.
Mr. Ouest was headed back to his house when he was met by another man. Mr. Byron Fence lived about 50 feet from the woman’s trailer in a camper that he had recently pulled into the trailer park.
“Byron!” Mr. Ouest said, “I have a story to tell man...you’d never believe!”
“What? About a naked woman?”
“Yeah...how did you know, man?”
“Well,” Byron explained, “First I was awaken by a lot of noise. Then I looked outside of my window at trailer #8 and saw a window open. I saw someone tryin’ hard to squeeze out the window and ..I looked again...and..Ha!...I saw a woman naked from the waist down jumping out the window!”
“Come on man!” said Mr. Ouest, “you saw all of that?... What else did you see?”
“Then, a man got out of the trailer and started chasing her around the trailer...’round an’ ‘round...about five times! I freaked out because I didn’t know if he would hurt her or kill her!”
“Ha Ha! ... then she took off running down the road!...I nearly lost my mind laughing!...She started running back and forth - up and down the street yelling ‘Help me, he’s got a gun!’ “ “Man, I tell you...I didn’t know what to think! A naked woman! Her shack-up ran back into the trailer and shut the door...then the woman went back to the trailer and started banging on the door...but...the man wouldn’t let her in! Then, she ran towards your house. Man...what kinda place of a trailer park do you have anyway!?”
“Hey Byron - you sure you didn’t stare at that woman too long, eh? I heard she’d tried and made a pass at you the other day!”
“Aw man! She didn’t look good enough, man...She’s too ugly!”
Man, what kinda crazy place do I have? Thought Mr. Ouest. I had many nut cases on my hands before, but not like this!
“Okay, Byron, its getting late, so, I’ll talk to you more tomorrow about this, man...Ha! Later! Goodnite!”
“Goodnite Mr. Ouest!”
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